About me

Mein Bild
Duesseldorf, NRW, Germany
Iam a German 40s/50s/60s Pin up Girl, Retro Addict and Weirdo. I love make up, to craft, do photoshootings and collect vintage clothes/ lingerie. In my blog you can read all about it, mashed up with my thoughts about fashion/styling.


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Sonntag, 19. Juli 2009

My future, my work, my money

Hi everyone!

My future is something written in the stars at the moment as my work-contract will expire the end of September and I don´t know wether they´ll extend it. I would love to stay at my company as I like the work and my work-mates, however for the case of cases I also think about "what will I do if that doesn´t happen?".

My regular readers might remember that my grandfather died last year in June and my great-grandmother died on X-Mas. They had some reserves for their old days and we sold the furnitures that we couldn´t give a new home ourselves and split the money through 3 (my aunt, my Mom and me). Since we did so I have hardly touched it. The only thing I bought was a laptop as I had wished one for years and I found one in a sale. Probably I would have bought it anyway.

It feels stupid to have money that I didn´t even earn by myself. I just can´t see it as my own. And it is by no means "Paris Hilton Dimensions". We´re working class after all. I would have prefered it if my great-grandma had taken all the money and spend it so she would have had fabulous 6 months before dying. My Mom said she´d save her part of the money for me after buying new furnitures, but I told her that I don´t want her to do that. I prefer that she spends it and has fun! Same goes for my aunt! Why should I want them to crucify themselves just so "I can have some money when they die". Would that make me happy? Not in the least!

I do not want to spend my money on something pointless like buying me some more clothes with it. So I´ve been thinking "What would THEY want me to do with it?" Now my great-grandma allways said to me "Travel the world before you get children" and she and my grandfather were big travellers themselves. For 10 years they even entirely moved out of Germany altogether and took residence in Africa. They came back later though.

So what will I do if my working-contract won´t go on? I will travell! I think I have deserved a little vacation after I have worked almost non-stop for so many years. When I didn´t work I was extreme job-hunting with up to 4 job-interviews a week cause I was scared of staying broke too long. I even took temproary jobs that went for 2 weeks or so just to have something. You can tell I was in panic. On top of that there were times where I basically had to go and beg my relatives for money so I could get over the first month at work. Buying a month-ticket for the train is damn expensive in Germany. Think of 200 € a month to get from Düsseldorf to Cologne.

I come from a family were money was allways scarce. When I was a child there were weeks were we just lived of eating pasta (at least until that one time where my Mom put ANOTHER pasta on the table and I ran away to throw up). But i should be happy that at least we had the pasta. Others don´t even have that :-( So beeing unemployed really really really upset me! Now I´m free of that fear!

I would like to travel Europe for 1-2 months. the places i have never been to, but allways had a interest in. Paris, London, Vienna. And off course I have to go to Stockholm again, too! That sounds like fun and it is something in the right spirit! But it is not september yet and I´ll learn about my contract rather late so I can´t plan too much in advance anyway. And after all I would be just as happy if I can keep my job! The european metropoles won´t run away.

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